the curse of the second seat
my way of dealing with bad things is by digesting them (and by that, i mean just replaying it over and over again in my head until i feel sick and then i'm cool and normal about it)
(qualifiers in parentheses)
“can this be happiness? this terrifying freedom?”
as kafka once said, fuck this stupid baka life
the fragile animals we call our bodies
that seems like a bad sign . psychologically
it's that time of year again (within me, an invincible summer)
overflowing with creative energy but only when class starts again and i have to focus on studying
hearing a song so beautiful you can feel it in your bones and your eyes just fall shut... (this is about etienne by ethel cain)
v fun nye party and brunch in my slept-in eyeliner and day clothes
to 25 and being a better version of myself, on y va
my character playlists are only the most pure and correct takes possible
my mom gifted me a lucky cat 哇哇哇
waking up at noon, hair sticking in every direction, flannel pyjama pants + my uni's hoodie, no breakfast just coffee, glasses on, studying for the lsat can i get any more stereotypical jc
playing with and petting em's new kitten for hours was healing to me
“she likes you more than me”
“we have the same aloof personality”
vindication of the righteous sufferer
mildly dissociated at all times
call me a poser more it feeds my degradation kink
i feel like lack of sleep and nutrition is actually causing me brainfog fucking help lmao
something deeply hilarious yet strangely touching about seeing people leave last.fm comments on long-dead composers like "my goat" . maybe the wordless beauty of their art transcends time and space forever and always ...
i hate mental illness i hate having to force myself to do things i actually want to do
choosing to ignore ferrari being a clown show as usual. christ you embarrass me every day
max four-time world champion verstappen you rock my world
“just like a brand new lamb i wreck you” voiture ou agneau ? pourquoi pas les deux
“i deserve it all.” oh... he gets me
NEW KENNY ALBUM LET'S GOOOOOO SUICIDE POSTPONED
“sounds less of a 3L problem per se but a "i built my life around academics so now i'm lost when i'm not being challenged by said academics" problem.”
yeowch
em dming me f1 reels and asking me to explain them ... fkin cute
okay j offered to teach me league awe :") bring me into the fetid rat pit we can be in there together
j infodumping to me about league lore and i'm like "damnit j u can't increase the siren song of league by making it sound so interesting" and they're like "it's bad don't play it" mdrrrr
finally watched the new arcane eps that came out this week and AAHGAHADHAD. SCREAMING,. CRYING. punching a wall
sometimes all you can do is say 哎呀 and move on
when people say they hate all pop music i'm like . why do you hate love . and joy . and whimsy .
reliably receiving texts from my classmates saying “i'm running into incoming traffic” and “i'm dropping out” as the assignment deadline draws near mdrrr i love you guys we're lost at sea together
she says i'm healing but i couldn't tell you when i got wounded
parfois je pense que je suis le plus grand suceur de bite de verstappen mais ensuite je vois des journaux dire qu'il “walk[ed] on water” in interlagos et je dis, ah, oubile ça
can't help but get jealous of some of the surnames i see while doing case research, like “van kessel”, “salvatore”... are you kidding me
i was apparently built to exchange song recommendations with men 10-30 years older than me
there are animal motifs everywhere for those with eyes to see
“she knows i'm not someone she can pin down” so it runs in the family
cooking up so much art rn
doing it all for the narrative
so much tension in my neck and jaw for what reason
“perhaps a coffee to break up the monotony when you get the chance.” you might save me
so it turns out i'm fooling no one
spreading my f1 propaganda as usual
historic multihour yap session with my friends then i come home and eat a 4am frozen pizza. life is good sometimes actually
sucking on his teeth, he needs it so bad
at what point does disordered eating become an eating disorder
“an absurd twentieth-century hamlet, an indecisive figure so mesmerized by onrushing tragedy that he was helpless to divert its course or alter it in any way”
i don't really have a lot to comment on that... besides that... he was being a pussy.
it's just me and my vanilla lattes against the horrors
je suis assez bon pour me dire que je ne suis pas assez bon
one of those "i can feel the soil falling over my head" typa nights
would either fix me or ruin my life
vraiment?
i've been avoiding emailing c for weeks because i know he'll ask how i am and i'll either have to lie or tell him that i haven't been taking care of myself at all.
"did you lose weight?" "yeah" "can you... not do that?"
did you know you have rights? constitution says you do
laferrari handle better and it's pretty as shit
day 3 of lsat prep, i improved from my cold diagnostic!!! 167 → 171 ^_^
11/6/2024. assume the victory position.
167 cold but it's a fluke, right? someone humble me i'm at risk of developing self-esteem
my nerves are so frayed after the brazilian gp. max verstappen if you need your dick sucked let me know. fucking insane
80 mg of caffeine no breakfast :3
the biggest out the city after kenny, that's a fact now
throat destroyed from screaming songs @ the halloween party guhhhhh
i think... i miss my wife (my favourite prof)
please don't ask about me
we move (literally and figuratively)
amen break amen break amen break
my maslow hierarchy of needs is all mixed up
"you really are a vampire"
misa, we were together for two long years and i love you always... she passed away the night after i got home, peacefully in her sleep, so i got to see her one last time. bonne nuit, ma petite oures noire.
home again home again!
what if you wanted to finish an assignment but god said: music festival that you can hear even with headphones on
t-shirt that says i ❤️ bad ideas
confrontation of love!!! (i cried.)
me at the most inopportune times: have you heard about [niche and extremely morbid topic or historical event]
today it was bodysnatching
i hope i never stop seeing her smile
reunited
reuniting tomorrow
bone deep tiredness
all i want for christmas is to be less intense
i'm nothing without it
i <3 you misa... my little old lady
well that's not a solution
wrote almost 3000 words in 2 days teehee (i didn't realize i had an assignment already for the first week... i'm not the only one at least)
lost a few pounds because i haven't been eating much lately, my appetite just evaporated for some reason
strange cocktail of emotions
had a dream about you again. the more time passes the more you feel like a story i tell myself.
i'm literally sisyphus (trying to keep my teeth white when i drink tea and coffee every day)
"i've never had a unique experience" bro... the shared trappings of human life unify us even when we are separated by the bounds of space and time.
if i make a playlist about him it's over for me
had a dream about gratuitous bailment. i'm supposed to be on break, leave me alone
vocal jazz is pure romance
bruise is turning different colours like a calico
i miss f1
the line between being insufferably pretentious and coolly intellectual is a fine one and baby i'm grinding that shit like this is tony hawk's pro skater 3
the mortifying ordeal of giving a fuck
stopped drinking coffee because i'm on break and i'm getting withdrawal headaches :[
me and prey animals get along because we understand each other
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